When we think about commitment and being in the moment, we often think they are two mutually exclusive concepts and practices. Commitment is often seen as an obligation we make to someone or something else. When we make a commitment we are saying that we will stay together in a marriage relationship or that we will commit to making a business or project work. Being in the moment, on the other hand often means coming out of belief, social constructs and interpersonal roles. “Now experiences” are about a state of being within, rather than mental or social constructs. So how could these two concepts support each other and come together to create a new sense of togetherness in conscious relationship, or success in business, or enhance ourselves?
Commitment in the moment is about putting in our 100% in the here and now into our businesses, work, relationships, parenting etc. It is like saying, “right now I will do the very best in being present, aware and focussed on this project or relationship”. The truth is that we cannot know what we will be thinking, feeling or doing in five or twenty years’ time. We can ONLY create in the present moment! However if we cultivate the right beliefs, environment, attitudes and their associated feeling space of what we want to create, then we are giving our desires the best chance of growing. To force something to be or become simply does not work.
Commitment in Intimate Relationship
This is why intimate relationships can be such a deep source of disappointment. If we believe that the relationship is long lasting then it is more likely that it will be long lasting. Our belief has a real role to play in commitment. Our attitudes, communication practices and exploration of real genuine intimacy are also important aspects of creating long lasting commitment in intimate relationship. However, we ARE cultivating this in every moment. If, for example, we say we will commit to a relationship or a marriage and then we neglect our responsibility to see from eyes of love rather than resentment, or to react out of unconscious patterns towards our partner, then it is little wonder that commitment wanes and the relationship eventually breaks down. We may agree to enter a sexually exclusive relationship however, it is how consciously aware of ourselves in that relationship and in every moment, that makes or breaks commitment. So under this definition, commitment is a process rather than a static concept or doctrine to live up to.
Commitment in Business & Work Life
Likewise, in business or even in employed positions, what we create in our work life and the commitment we bring to it shines through or disintegrates it. Currently, business and the economic market are tough. However, I am continuously seeing people in business focussing on the stress and negative (or their fear based reality) rather than bringing in some optimism and realistic steps forward to strengthen their business. They often say they are committed, however their actions tell another story. They are closed for longer, they cease to top up stock and they order less. All that happens is that people do not buy there as much. Eventually the business will fold.
In paid employment, it is amazing how many people do not want to be at work. They often do not realise it, but this attitude and the attached feeling space, creates a general depressing lack of commitment and lost opportunities to give. Susan Jeffers talks about giving our 100% to each aspect of our lives with commitment and generosity to overcome depression and anxiety. She is right! Commitment at work in our attitude, perception and actions is vital for a fulfilling life.
Commitment to Ourselves
Commitment to ourselves is the third area I will explore today. Perhaps this is the best place to start to cultivate commitment in any area of our lives, as commitment is a process that emanates from our beliefs, feeling space and actions when we embrace it. Commitment to ourselves is about valuing and honouring ourselves physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally in every moment. Ultimately, this is a practice like mindfulness that builds awareness in the here and now. As we learn more about ourselves and increase our conscious awareness of our psycho-spiritual patterns, we are by default learning how to commit to ourselves. It is like, the more that we consciously know at a gut level, the more we can only practice that which is for our own and others greater good. As we become more kind to ourselves, we become more kind to others. The more overflowing in joy, the more we love to give without expectation. Commitment to ourselves is like embracing commitment to life, we allow in what we thrive on and say “no” to what corrodes or destroys us.
Commitment in the now is fundamental to success and fulfilment in life. It does not guarantee anything. It does not mean things we want will necessarily work out for us. But it does mean that we are giving what we want in life our best shot and opening to success. Commitment is giving our best. If commitment is fuelled with conscious awareness and self-value, then the chances of permanent healthy relationships, meaningful work and a happy, healthy self are maximized.
How do you cultivate commitment in your life?
In what areas of your life would you like to cultivate more commitment?